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Monday Mindless

Issue Date: Monday, Mar. 17, 2003

Sam Raimi films are pure movie goodness.

Mister and I watched Evil Dead II and Evil Dead III “Army of Darkness” this weekend. Funny, funny stuff ya’ll.

I was quite taken aback at the retard running the cash register at our local video/dvd store. I don’t know if I should mention their name here, but it rhymes with FlockMuster. I went to ask said retard where in the store I may find the two gems of movie goodness I was searching. They were actually listed in the Action section. No horror section at that FlockMuster store! No sirree Bob!

So I find the movie gems and take the to the cash register with Mister. Retard looks at our selection and gets a questioning look on his face. I mumble that they are Evil Dead II and III, in case he couldn’t read. He looked at the Army of Darkness video like, “No way lady, it has a different name than the other one.” So I explain, ………. Slowly…… “Sir, Army of Darkness is Evil Dead III.” I got a blank stare and an, “oh.” BRILLIANT!

How can anyone work at a FlockMuster (or any hugely overpriced but way too convenient video/dvd store) and Not Know That!? I am in no way a film geek like so many other people. Heck, I don’t even have a favorite genre.

Flawless segue #1.

No really, check this out. I laughed so hard I almost pee’d.

Speaking of pee. What is the deal with fluorescent pee? Mister has been slipping me vitamins for a few months (or were they ruffies?), and for the past few days I have had seriously fluorescent tinkle.

Flawless segue #2.

I had a dream this morning that I was roomies with Jack and Will, characters from “Will and Grace”. The house (or whatever) was flooding and Jack was trying to make false insurance claims to receive money and I was sitting on Will’s lap trying to tell him why I was not attracted to him because I was a straight woman. I was also trying to destroy these little varmints that were like cartoon/action figures that were alive but trying to harm me. One of them looked sort of like that spokes-shrimp from the Long John Silver commercials.

Speaking of spokes-shrimp… Ok, it has nothing to do with spokes-shrimp. My sister was looking out the window of my car when we were stuck at a red light one afternoon. She was watching all these little birds rustlin’ up some food. Really quietly she started singing, “Lookin for grubs in all the wrong places… looking for grubs…”. Heh. She slays me.

This entry is chock-full of blabbering and mindless drivel.

Ok... here’s something:

25 Things you May or May Not Know About Me

1. I have auburn/brown hair that Mister says looks “orange” on the ends. Mmmm sexy.

2. I was born in the north but was only there for 6 weeks. Therefore, I am southern by the grace of God. (Nothing against Northerners… I just love the South.)

3. I was in college before I graduated high school.

4. I have an irrational fear of tofu.

5. I have no grandparents left.

6. I am quite the Amazon, 5’9”… on tall days. On short days I am just over 5’7.5”.

7. I like my feet.

8. I have a substance abuse problem: shoes, jewelry and make-up.

9. I know how to replace the cellanoid on a 1982 dump truck.

10. I refuse to ever again utter the words, “I am hungry, go kill something.”

11. I get emotionally attached to the characters in a novel. When it is over, I go through a period of mourning. It’s not severe or anything.

12. I love popcorn SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much… but it hates me. With a vengeance.

13. I have green eyes. Not hazel. Green.

14. When I am very, very, very angry, my eyes turn blue.

15. When I was younger I was so stressed my eyelashes used to fall out. Not just one at a time either. When I ran away at 13, my eyelids were almost bald.

16. When I was 12 I cut off all my eyebrows. Apparently I was too lazy to pluck them, but very OCD about finishing a task I had started.

17. I love to dance. I started when I was 3 in ballet. All in all I have 15 years of ballet, 7 years of jazz, 4 years of tap and 2 years of lyrical.

18. I was a member of my college repertory dance team.

19. I have always gotten along better with men, than with women. Until lately. I have found that I really do like to have girls as friends.

20. I have a girl’s weekend every year in August. Anywhere from 15 to 20 women converge on my parent’s lake house and drink WAY too much beer, sing way too loudly and get sunburned. It’s a beautiful thing.

21. My kitty’s name is Maximillian McGillikitty III… he doesn’t know it though. He thinks his name is Maxie, Gato or Boo. Mister calls him Boo… like Boo Boo Kitty. Too sweet.

22. I used to think that Steve Miller’s “Big Ol Jet Airliner” used to say “Bingo Jed had a light on.”

23. I am 30 years old and Mister is my first and only love.

24. I love infomercials!

25. Sally Struthers used to make me cry every Sunday afternoon.

*Curtsie* G’night.

(p.s. My toes are painted Rudolph Red, even though it’s nowhere near Christmas! I am SUCH the rebel.)

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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.


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