Please bookmark the correct page at http://suzannadanna.net/ Princess of Irony

You. Are. My World.

Issue Date: Wednesday, Mar. 02, 2005

I’ve been a bit on edge lately about Mister’s situation. Not because he is unemployed, nope. Not that. But because of how things were going, his self-esteem was taking a beating and his faith that things would turn around was just about negated. The mamma bear in me has been fighting really hard not to come to life and hunt down the man who laid out these pipe dreams to Mister not even two months ago. In turn, causing Mister to work his tail off for hours on end. Nights, weekends, you name it.

My husband puts 200% into every project he starts. He is an achiever, an analytical sort, and a pleaser who happens to be gifted with a genius IQ. So when he started this new project with this new company and this new boss heaped all of these demands; demands that were not originally part of the deal; onto Mister, of course Mister buckled down and started to work, I knew that the new boss man would be very pleased with the outcome of the project.

Little did I (or Mister or anyone else for that matter) know that the money that boss man had flagged as seed money to finance the payroll of the company was money that he stupidly left in another account for his ex partner to have access to. Access that said ex partner allegedly took, and has since been allegedly arrested for allegedly taking. ::eyeroll::

Puh-lease.

Anyway, the now ex boss man let everyone in the company go a week and a half ago. Mister was crushed. All of his hard work, all of the progress on the new website, all of the charts and the work on HIPPA and countless other tasks and headaches, all for naught. But when ex boss man wouldn’t answer his phone when everyone started calling about their last payroll checks, and ex boss had his wife email Mister’s partner with some cockamamie story blah dee bloo, things started to get a little interesting.

Everyone got his or her last paychecks on Tuesday; a full week after ex boss pulled the plug. When they got their checks, ex boss asked everyone to wait a full five days to deposit them because they wouldn’t go through. Sweet.

This is not the whole thing of course, but a brief (ha!) synopsis.

The reason I bring any of this up is to say that I have the most incredible husband ever in the whole entire world. Ever. Ever. Ever. Infinity, no tag backs.

Yesterday afternoon I got this happy little call from my sweetheart telling me that the ex boss’s check (that bastard… may he rot for hurting my baby’s feelings) finally cleared, so Mister cashed that bad boy post haste.

He then asked me if I would like a sursie.

A sursie (pronounced sur-see) is a little present for no apparent reason. The term was coined by my mother’s roommate in college, Marilyn who rocks most righteously. And if she has ever read this site I may as well just die right now, but Hi Marilyn, Love You!

I told my loving husband that I would be delighted to receive a sursie, that I needed an eyebrow pencil, and that I would prefer one from Clarins. (Psst… Clarins? Why haven’t you called me baby? I still love you yanno.) So Mister said, “Ok… an eyebrow pencil it is.” And we ended our phone call with a bunch of yay’s about the check clearing… and “I love you’s” and “I love you too sooo much’s” and all that stuff.

Let me give you guys a little back story on this incredible man. Ladies, you are going to want to kill me and take him for yourself after this… be warned.

When Mister and I had been dating for a few months (Who am I kidding? It was probably in the first month or so, we were basically living together after the first few weeks!) we woke up one Saturday morning to go to breakfast and then do what new lovers do on weekends… Catch movies, eat rich foods, make love all afternoon, you know… the usual.

Anyway, he was sitting on his bed watching me put makeup on for our foray into the real world for breakfast. I was sitting on the floor with his bedside lamp turned towards me and using it like a make up light. You ladies have probably all done the same thing.

I had my little makeup bag on the floor with it’s contents spilled out all over so I could get to them because we were in a hurry, we were hungry… and we needed to get to all of that other stuff, movies, making love… you get the picture. He leaned over and picked up this little scrap of a pencil and said, “What on earth is this tiny thing? It’s so small, what do you use it for?” I told him that it was my eyebrow pencil and showed him where it went on my face and how it worked. He asked me why it was so whittled down and I answered, “Well, this one is from Merle Norman and my mother bought it for me when I first went into college. They are about twelve dollars and I had just been using it sparingly ever since she got it for me because they are kind of expensive.”

Now ya’ll have to remember that I was a refugee from the Beverly Hillbillies for 9 years previously. Translation: I wore Cover Girl and anything from WalMart, face breakouts and silky skin be damned…. I was po’.

Mister got sort of thoughtful, he held the tiny little snip of an eyebrow pencil in his huge hand, turned it over, looked at it for a minute, and then gave it back to me and then we went about our day.

That Tuesday he picked me up for a date and when I went downstairs to get in his truck (he had the Expedition at the time) he opened the door for me and put me gently inside and then left the door open for a second, leaned in to kiss me and then said, “I have something for you…” and he handed me a little pale pink bag.

I squealed, “A Sursie!”

And he was like What the Fuck? So I explained the sursie thing to him while I opened the bag.

Nestled inside the little bag was a long narrow box with taupe eyeliner from Merle Norman.

Can you guys believe that? This big beautiful man went on his lunch break to a makeup store and told the lady working there what he needed and she picked it out for him.

How fucking thoughtful is that ladies? He got me an eyebrow pencil. He replaced the one I had been carrying around since God was in short pants. Don’t you just want to Die!? Well, I did… and then I called my mother, who squealed right along with me and then called all of her friends and then demanded that I marry him that instant.

(Psst… this is the same man who sent me roses at work on our two-week anniversary that caused me to fly into an incredible crying jag and when I called my mother she thought someone had died because I was crying so hard. She was like, “What did he do to you?” Heh. They were happy tears, but um… I was vulnerable… shut up.)

So, about yesterday.

I asked him for an eyebrow pencil because the one from Clarins that I’ve been using (I have been hording that one from Merle Norman like it’s friggin Fort Knox over here.) is down to its last two or three uses.

I am eyebrow-ly challenged.

Cough-IcutthemoffwhenIwas12-Cough

Yeah… so… annnnnyway… moving along… stop laughing at the afflicted Meanie.

So he told me that when I got home yesterday that I needed to make sure to go get more tampons before we left for dinner. I was like, “Baby, I have some in my purse because I’m a humongous whale of a period-y bloaty whine whine…. Blargh”

He kept insisting, “Sweetie, reeeeeallllly, you need to go upstairs and get more tampons for your purse.”

I was thinking to myself that, “my isn’t he being awfully sensitive and sweet about my cycle this month?” Then it clicked. Ohhh… He may have gotten me the eyebrow pencil! YAY! So I scampered upstairs and found the eyebrow pencil on my bathroom counter. YAY! I yelled down, “Thank you baby! This is perfect… I really appreciate you going to Saks to get this for me, or did you go to Foley’s? I’ll be right down! I just have to tinkle!”

He came bounding up the stairs and stood there while I pee’d like, “Woman… are you daft? I TOLD you to get more tampons.” So he said. “Did you get more tampons?” And I was all, “No, I have a few in my purse and look at the teeny little bit of eyebrow pencil left on the one I have, you were right on time, thank you love.”

Mister: Woman, for the love of all that is holy, would you please Look. In. The. Damn. Cabinet!?
me: ::blink:: oh… duh… sorry.

I opened the cabinet (where the tampons are coincidentally… heh) to find this awesome Saks bag FILLED with Clarins goodies. The tranquility lotion (divine!), my face lotion (luscious), the one step facial cleanser (yay!) a gift with purchase from Clarins with their gentle foaming face cleanser and a mirror and a make up bag and a bag from Saks… ROCK!

Hello? Husband? You. Are. My World. I love you, you so very much.

Strip away all of the gifts ladies and gentlemen and he is still the most priceless gem I have ever found.

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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

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