Please bookmark the correct page at http://suzannadanna.net/ Princess of Irony

This was supposed to be something about not being able to travel with lip gloss, but I got side tracked.

Issue Date: Monday, Aug. 14, 2006

While at happy hour with the girls the other evening the subject material turned raunchy as we regaled Stephanie’s sister Jen with this story. And then the awesomeness of the evening ramped up a notch … OR TWELVE! Because Jen got up to go to the ladies room and Steph said, “Didn’t one of us make out with him? Randy, I mean? [silence for about 10 seconds while she strolled down memory lane] Oh… Oh, my God… was it me!?” Kerry and I let out peals of laughter that harbor seals would have been jealous of, said laughter drew the attention of every patron in the bar and caused Jen to come running back to the table from halfway across the room, “Shit! What did I miss?”

Heh.

Oh, and then? Kerry sent us all an email the next morning that said (posted here for my memory’s sake… and to make you cry a little bit… like I did):

Hey Sistas!! (Susan, Stacey, Steph & Jenn)

What a blast it was to see you last night! I have not laughed that hard in a very long time. Good Times!!!

I can not wait till we are all grey & we meet at the community room at a local retirement village to look back at our entire lives. We will always be able to laugh & cry together…

Thank you so much for being in my life. I love you & I cherish your friendships more than you will ever know!!

Much Love,

Kerry

Makes ya a little misty huh?

I also wanted to discuss this latest terrorist threat thing. No, I don’t want to go down the, “We’re all gonna DIE!” path with ya’ll. I want to talk about something that is near and dear to my heart.

My make up.

Did ya’ll know that the airlines were making the passengers and the flight attendants do? The women (and some saucy men) had to throw away their make up.

To wit:

No liquids or gels of any kind will be permitted in carry-on baggage. Items must be in checked baggage.
Exception: baby formula, breast milk, or juice if a baby or small child is traveling; prescription medicine, insulin and essential other non-prescription medicines.

Source: Department of Homeland Security. Link found here.

Anything that is in a tube, it a liquid or a lotion… Gone. Tossed. Make up, being thrown away. (And somewhere Elizabeth Arden is turning in her four poster bed … er her grave. Sorry Liz..) A coworker just came into my cube and she said, “What would you do if they made you throw away your entire make up bag and it’s contents that you carry in your purse?” I replied, “Someone would go down with a jacked up tooth.” As I applied a base coat of Burt’s Bees lip balm and then a dab or two across my lips of M*A*C lipstick in “O”.

Not sure if you guys have realized this yet or not but… I have a problem.

A few months back Miss Sheryl at did a little story where she asked her readers to take a picture of what is in their purses. The piece was called “in the bag” and it chronicled the very low maintenance, the mommy purses (the ones with all the food) and then those of us who really have issues. Namely, me.

I sent Sheryl two pictures of Elvira. (Both included below for your viewing and judgmental pleasure.)

The first picture was one of Elvira with her top zipper open and me… every so adoringly, peering inside.

This is what I normally see.



And the second one was basically is a very disturbing and quite detailed photo of what treasures that Elvira holds in her day to day duty.

Ya’ll know I love this purse. As we speak friends of mine and coworkers alike are gathering a plotting when to call in the reinforcements of Stacey and Clinton on TLC’s What Not to Wear because I wear black pants like three or four days a week and I have been carrying this fucking purse for neigh on two years. Seriously ya’ll. Two years. September 26th will be two years that Elvira has been mine, all mine.

And when Mister bought her for me as an anniversary present I suggested that she needed a car seat… and he thought that I. Was. Kidding.

It is relatively apparent that I am a twisted individual. But to counteract that fact, I give you this.

A picture of the puppy. Seriously, if this doesn’t make you do that Awwwww noise then you are dead to me.


Galen at 11 weeks, taken on 8/4/05.

There was something that I was going to tell ya’ll and because it has taken me like four days to write this I have totally forgotten. Maybe it will come to me.

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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.


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