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I'm gonna be a Star!

Issue Date: Friday, May. 30, 2003

Well, this is it everyone.

Hollywood finally called. They said they were looking for someone just like ME! There is a new movie coming out that apparently I am perfect for. The movie is a sequel.

Oh hush you pessimist you. I know that sequels usually spell disaster for actors unless the producer is Spielberg or Bruckheimer, but this one promises to blow the box office and the critics away.

The movie is called I Am Sam Two: Still ‘Tarded. See? Perfect for me.

They found out about my talent and huge brain capacity from my boss this morning when he got to work. Apparently I, the mental giant that I am, left the front door unlocked to the office last night.

I walked out of the office in a tizzy over some hotel in Vegas and didn’t even lock the door.

Someone should put me on a leash.


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.

My Amazon Wish List.

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