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Fear & Loathing in "Lost Wages"

Issue Date: Tuesday, Jul. 01, 2003

My ex-sister-outlaw…er, I mean in-law Debra Jean asked me for an update this morning. Apparently it has been 12 days since my last post. I didn’t realize that it has been so long since my last entry.

For that, I apologize. You guys need to call me on my slackerdom!

I was in Vegas last week for a whirlwind trip to locate and secure a property for my national convention for next year.

Vegas in June….mmmmmm sweaty.

I visited five properties in one day. Jesus God. If you have been to Vegas at least once you know the scale of things there. Enormahuge. Ginormous. (Shut up, they are too words.)

I thought that Texas had the market sort of cornered on the “bigger is better” rule.

Yes, there is a place in Texas (up in the panhandle) that has this catchy title as its claim to fame. ”If you can finish a 52oz steak in one sitting, it’s on the house!” Or some such bullshit. I am not kidding. 52 Ounces. That is like the size of a small child.

Anyway… I walked about 18 frillion miles in the June heat in Vegas and was still supposed to keep my wits about me enough to wheel and deal with the convention and sales managers at each property. Mandalay Bay is one of the 5th largest convention facilities in the world. The world! And that is where I started my Tuesday morning.

Oh, oh…. Did I mention that I toured all five properties in one day!?!?!?

It took us* two hours just to tour the convention facility at Mandalay. From there we went to Caesars Palace, The Mirage, Rio and then finished it up after dinner with a tour of the Las Vegas Hilton.

I was beat. The long day mixed with getting to bed pretty darn late the night before about brought me to the carpet. (For a nice nap.)

*Monday night when I got into Vegas I met my cohorts Jackie & Nancy for dinner. Jackie hails from Georgia and Nancy from Washington State. They are both members of my Board of Directors for the Association I work for. They are truly salt of the earth people. Kind, generous, witty and very pleasant to be around.

After dinner, (Actually during… I was running late & had to leave Jackie & Nancy at the table.) I met up with a girlfriend of mine who was in town. She lives in Houston and was in Vegas for a convention of her own. I had pulled a few strings earlier the week before and finagled two tickets to see “Mystere” at Treasure Island at 10:30pm Monday night.

Mystere is a Cirque du Soleil production. These people are amazing. If I had known about this company of performers when I was little, running away to join the circus would have been a reality. Sheesh. The balance, the grace, the sheer balls these people have.

I am still awe-struck.

Sure, sure… I know I wanted to be a ballerina… (or a trucker) when I was little… but I will forever dream of the bungee ballet that I witnessed last Monday night. If you guys have seen Tomb Raider, that Lara Croft movie with Angelina Jolie, she does a bungee ballet. Imagine that like a frillion times cooler, higher, faster, more graceful and you may get a jist of the bungee act in Mystere.


You: Back to the present girlie girl.

Me: Hi there, I’m back.

Well, it’s time for me to go. I have to go the courthouse to pay a ticket, I get my stitches out today from my dermatologist. I also get to go to my GP Doctor to let him check my ears. I feel an earache coming on.

It’s either that… or scurvy.


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

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