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I just heard the word spa and had a mini braingasm.

Issue Date: Tuesday, Mar. 23, 2004

It hath been written that I suck at making titles for these journal/diary entries.

Duly noted.

I will, from this point forward pick a random grouping of letters and words from within the entry itself for the title. Kinda Indie in it’s I don’t care how this looks, …. BUT I really do! sort of way… no?

Yeah, I don’t think I pulled that off too smoothly either.

I would like to pass a motion that I have the best husband on earth…


All In favor?


Check this out. Do you guys remember that Mister has taken a job with a new company? Well, he has. The company was so jonesing for him to start that they asked him if he would double-dip and work for both his current employer and his new one during the duration of his two-weeks notice.

He said he would, and because he is such a rock star with a ginormous brain he is doing just that. And succeeding.

If I were asked to work two full time jobs that required me to use more than 02% of my brain I would be reduced to a quivering pouting heap on the floor. I would be whimpering a mantra of “It’s too hard. It’s tooooo haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrD!!!” This would be accompanied by a great gnashing of teeth and rending of flesh… not to mention wailing. Yep, lots of wailing. Lots and lots of wailing.

Did I mention the wailing?

Yeah, so that wouldn’t be so pretty. Not to mention annoying as all hell.

But my husband, my husband…

[And the clouds open up and bathe him in a glorified light of the heavens.]

My husband asked me last week to take this Friday off. I did as he asked and took a personal day. He told me that it was a surprise and that we were going away for the weekend. So immediately I got all “Squeeee!”

Why were we going away for the weekend you ask? Yeah, I asked too. Nosey little bitch ain’t I?

This beautiful man said these words to me, “Well baby, I’ve been working for both companies for the past week and it has been taking time away from us. This trip is just for us to get away. No visiting of relatives. Just us time.”

[And the angels started singing.]

He then asked me to help him arrange our flights and a room for Thursday night at a hotel… in Orlando.

He hath been secretive, he hath been quiet… but he finally broke at lunch today.

I’m so excited I may pee a little.

The plan is this…

Thursday night we fly into Orlando, get in late and get situated in our hotel. Maybe we go out drinking and dancing, a little night on the town, maybe we hang out at the pool and drink froo froo drinks and dance the Macarena.

Friday …. Hee!… Friday we go to a Disney park of my choice. Epcot? Magic Kingdom? MGM Studios? It’s up to me. That evening we go spend the night with Mister’s best friend (Jeff) and his family. Hang out and relax time after a day in the sun.

Saturday Jeff’s wife and I are scheduled to spend a day at a spa. No more details there. I just heard the word spa and had a mini braingasm. Spa. Me, at a spa in Florida all day….All Friggin Day on Saturday!… Just a few days from today. Spaaaaaaaaaaah. Mmmmmm puuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Saturday night we are all going to Disney Village for a nice dinner. Dancing?, Maybe.

Sunday we pack up, and have another “US” day and fly back to Dallas late that night.

Did I mention that he is SO getting laid?

Yeah, I didn’t think I needed too either.

Tonight, before I cook a wonderful meal for my angelic and oh so hot hubby [please see above] I have an appointment.

Nay, I will not be joining the leagues of soccer moms and barely legal teens at the local Vietnamese nail salon for a refresher for my manicure and pedicure.

I am having something else done entirely.

Because we are going to Florida and I am roughly the color of Cool Whip (not Strawberry) I decided that I would try the airbrush tanning technique. I did not want to try the mist on deal because I have seen ‘When Misting Goes Bad’.

It was an after school special on ABC… featuring Paris Hilton.

My coworker directed me to this quaint little shop in Plano that does the airbrush tanning technique. I called, acted like a total tool (unintentionally of course), asked questions of Marci the owner and made an appointment for this afternoon.

Apparently the spray they use has no bronzer so they guarantee you will not turn orange like that Julian guy in Bridgett Jones’ Diary. The spray reacts with some sort of amino acids in your skin and slowly darkens you over 6 to 8 hours. She said that the spray works better on pale people better because it is more of a drastic change.

I swear, if I turn orange, I will be loofa-ing my skin until it is red (better than ORANGE!) and raw. I will be a tomato with legs for our Just Us trip.

Please think good thoughts for my non-oranging.


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

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