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I’ve seen dyslexic spelling bees that were more organized.

Issue Date: Thursday, Apr. 08, 2004

You wanna know where I’ve been for the past, like eleventy four days? This is where.

Witt and Wisdom.

Select quotes include:

- I’ve seen dyslexic spelling bees that were more organized.
- I guarantee that man is getting more ass than a donkey rodeo.
- Even God is up in heaven saying, “Jesus Christ, bury the kielbasa, for the love of me!”
- In order to get to the white sand beaches and steaming sunshine of the gulf coast of Florida, I had to drive through Alabama. Sans banjo.

I have wandered, nay, I have strayed. To a place where the sarcasm is deep and the wit is plenty. After reading this man’s journal … In. Its. Entirety. … I must concede that I am a talent less hack and hand over the reigns.

Also. I may have a bit of a crush.

Therefore, I leave you with this. Retarded (but mindlessly funny and/or cute) Easter Crap.

All of them, except the first one. That one is just plain wrong.

AAAAAAAAAAagh No seriously. Why. Why God? WHY!!!!!!????

This made me laugh. Maniacally, only the way those singing bunnies on the Toys ‘R Us commercials or the “Thank You Easter Bunny! Bawk Bawk!” commercial.

Happy Easter…. Yo.


Wanna squeeze em?

Yeah, this was a waste. I’ll try again tomorrow.


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.

My Amazon Wish List.

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