Princess of Irony

My crack dealer�. Er I mean the lady in finance gave me a sample of it to try.

Issue Date: Thursday, Apr. 22, 2004

Hello gorgeous Texas Thursday afternoon.

Salutations to you and your 81-degree weather. Your beautiful blue skies with a smattering of clouds, tumid with a soft substance and opaque with sunlight.

Good afternoon to your tepid gusts of wind that cause the comely trees to shimmer with brilliance as the sun bounces off each shiny and new spring leaf.

Hail to your smells of newness that come with the rebirth of flowers and green grass.

And a big ol� Howdy! To that glorious man beast at the corner of Montfort and Beltline, sitting astride a flame blue Orange County Chopper and making it his bitch. Yes ladies, it was a sight to behold. A man with a generous mouth, broad shoulders and narrow hips, the aesthetic beauty of Dave Navarro, including hotty hotness facial hair [seriously, click on it.] and the manly prowess and large frame of The Rock [yeah, click on this one too.]. All tight faded jeans and sparkly clean white t-shirt.

Oh Jeebus. Such a purty, purty man.

Things like that make me happy yanno? Beauty and brawn. Rawr.

I�m not saying I�d ever go through with the urge to jump out of my car, run willy-nilly into the intersection and flash my boobies at him with wild abandon if I ever saw him again. Nope, not saying that.

Just saying I appreciate all things pretty. Like, like� like you.

Yanno, you really should wear that color more often. It brings out your eyes. Oh, Yeah. Mmm baby. Show me what you�re working with!

So, yeah� I�ve been gone for a few days. I was in Austin on business.

Conference season hath begun. Slackerdom shall be banished to the far corners of the universe. I will be dog-tired every month now through December.

Speaking of dog-tired. Guess what genius decided to make Conference season the time to give up her beloved Dr. Peppers? Yep, me. You guessed it.

Now, why on earth would a sane person do that? No clue? Me either.

Caffeine to pick me up in the afternoon waning period, from 2 to 3:30? Nope.

That Satan of Soda has caused me a grave amount of stress over the past few years. But I love it so.

I love the prune-syrupy goodness. I love the carbonation. I love the way its bubbles tickle my nose at 8am. I love the way I haven�t had a solid poop in nigh on 3 months. Oh wait.

I don�t like that part.

Or how I could feel the chemicals burning my esophagus because I have had acid reflux so badly for 2 weeks that my throat has been constantly raw.

Nope, don�t like that part either.

So, fair the well my beloved Dr. Pepper. Let my throat, esophagus and my small intestines heal and we�ll talk� capisca?

Conversation with Mister on the way out to dinner last night:

Mister: [looking at me while stopped at a red light] What color lipstick do you have on?

me: [quickly looking into the fold down mirror] Oh, this? It�s called brownie. It is actually a gloss.

Mister: Brownie?

me: Yep, it�s by Mary Kay, my crack dealer�. Er I mean the lady in finance gave me a sample of it to try. Do you like it?

Mister: Yes, it really is a good color on you.

me: Thank you baby.

Mister: Does Clarin�s have that color?

me: I�m sure they do, but this is only $12.50 �

Mister: Let�s get you that color from Clarin�s. Okay?

me: [grinning like a loon] Hee! Okay!

It is a total mystery to me ladies. This man with his beautiful face, manicured hands and love for the nicer things looked at my mish mashed pile of make up in my purse and decided to go on a one man mission to make me product loyal.

I have been completely poor in the past and had no qualms with using products like $.99 cent eyeliner from Wet N� Wild that you had to soften with a lighter to get it to go on your eyelids without ripping them off your face. I have used lipstick from Opal. I have used everything from Cover Girl to MAC to Estee Lauder to Merle Norman.

Mister wanted me to go into my thirties and beyond with a fantastic skin care line and color to boot.

I am loving this. Clarin�s is the best. Their product line is so wonderful and I could tell the difference in my skin in mere weeks. Crows feet on this 31 year old? Nope. Soft, pliable skin that you want to lick? Yepper buddy.

But I still use The Soap occasionally. (I bought the samples.)

What are ya�lls favorite products?

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