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100 Things I Like

Issue Date: Wednesday, Aug. 03, 2005

Dear Jessica Simpson,
I covet your Gucci horse-bit hobo bag in brown and in black. However, COMMA, I saw that abortion of video and “music”* that you scraped out of Satan’s hoary ass and threw up onto VH1’s airwaves for the second time this morning and nearly deafened myself on purpose with a pink bubblegum cigar that says, “IT’s A GIRL” on it at the first come hither slither of your whispery vomitous, “Are you ready Bewwts?… start walkin.” Your over indulgent attitude and sheer… God… just the ickiness!
How much did you have to pay Willie to make him be in that video? I thought I saw shackles, were those shackles?
Please stop working out, your neck looks mannish and your tan makes you look dirty. A carb will not kill you… your skin however, looks like it is trying to attack your face. Water honey, hydrate. Oh, and bathe. It is not enough to just be next to the suds.
With love,
*PS… We know you can sing. You used to have it in you before all of this over-enunciation stuff and trying to out-drama Whitney took over.
PPS… You owe Nancy Sinatra an apology.

I just read KristinTracy’s 100 Things I Like. Which was in turn inspired by Heeland Lass, and that in turn was inspired by… Jenny, who was inspired by the website Learning to Love You More and Erin. (Will it never end?)

And I started thinking about things that I like. Could I put a list of things together, 100 things that I like? Or would it be easier, as KT intoned at the end of her list, to put together a list of dislikes?

Yes, yes it would be easier. And I’m no slouch (sit up straight darling) I don’t want to take the easy way out. So, over the next – however long it takes (starting over lunch on 8/3) – I will formulate a list of things that make me happy. And I will try to do so without much thought or explanation.

I’m bad about explaining myself aren’t I?

On to the list.

The rules…
Make a list of 100 things you like in no particular order. Avoid the obvious (significant other, cake...) and be completely honest with yourself. If you try to think of things that you are curious about and inspired by, you'll end up discovering a lot about yourself and in doing so developing a sort of bank of your interests and ideas.

1. sound: the ocean in the morning
2. Q-tips™
3. pressed tin ceilings
5. the sound of quiet before a room erupts into applause
6. wooden railings worn smooth
7. oversized furniture
8. flipping the pillow to find the cool side
9. giving anonymously
10. smell: freshly mowed grass
11. smell: leaves/grass being burned in the country
12. skiing during a storm with lazy fat snowflakes falling
13. suspension of disbelief
14. personal mail
15. email
16. commercials
17. VH1
18. cedar blocks
19. Burt’s Bees lip therapy
20. strappy sandals
21. Old Navy flip flops
22. the lines in the carpet after you vacuum
23. being petted
24. road trips
25. fine point roller ball pens
26. Bonnie Raitt
27. bendy straws
28. candles that smell lightly like men’s cologne or sandalwood
29. feeling safe
30. waking up laughing
31. watching a project come together seamlessly
32. airline miles and hotel points
33. finding a cool spot in warm water
34. swimming
35. “grazing” as opposed to eating a large meal
36. freshly shaved legs and cool crisp sheets = heaven
37. mascara
38. Vitamin E lip balm
39. Rhodesian Ridgebacks
40. the bunnies that live in my yard
41. smell: coffee
42. Boodles gin & tonic (dirty) w/ 3 big olives
43. almond stuffed olives
44. olives apparently
45. the TLC show on Elephants that makes me cry every time
46. my deconstruction of an Arby’s sandwich
47. This brilliant, brilliant young lady. (So proud of you Jen!)
48. knowing how to work the office copier
49. post it notes
50. individually wrapped wint-o-green lifesavers
51. black and white film
52. those Lysol®/Clorox® kitchen wipes
53. bedroom slippers
54. fluffy socks
55. action movies
56. making a friend laugh with my journal
57. dill pickles
58. popcorn
59. gentle kisses with little bites on the lower lip
60. sushi
61. black pants
62. jazz hands
63. honey shampoo & conditioner from The Body Shop
64. oranges
65. spinach salad with strawberries & poppy seed dressing
66. avocados
67. green bananas
68. Mexican and Tex-Mex food (salsa is a food group)
69. misty mornings in the spring
70. 78 degree weather
71. sweatshirt with shorts
72. Paradise on Platt
73. the tingle in my belly when I know I’m about to see my husband
74. New Orleans
75. shoes
76. dangly earrings
77. the necklace my father made for me (and one from my sister) with a diamond from my mother and a stone from my grandmother’s brag ring
78. two-stepping
79. harmony
80. the knowledge that I am tough, but I don’t have to be anymore
81. Kevin James
82. no school loans
83. Max’s big kitty body with a tiny little “meee?” meow
84. my Aquis towel
86. pedicures
87. the Internets
88. transition lenses
89. Labor Day
90. lip gloss – cranberry colored…
91. p0rn hair
92. little black envelope opener that looks like a floppy disk
93. Elvira & Florida Evans
94. Clarins hand lotion
95. my intuition razor
96. tee-tiny hair clips
97. Revlon eyelash curler that has lasted for 20 years
98. cottonelle toilet paper (stupid bears ruined the whole thing for me.)
99. books, bookity, books, books
100. naps

Well, that took long enough. You wanna give it a go? Please, be my guest.
Just let me know in the comments, or backtrack to this entry to let me know that you took the idea and ran with it. Smoochies.


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

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