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Weetacon '07 Part I

Issue Date: Tuesday, Mar. 06, 2007

Alright, so the Green Bay weekend.

Y’all? It was like summer camp… with boobies.

I laughed, I cried… it was better than Cats… I want to go again, and again, and again.

Let me give you a run down of the awesome festivities.

I will start with a list of the cast and try to link to as many people as possible. Then I will move on in an orderly fashion with my story of how I got there… and as much as I can remember. (Which translates into massive amounts of run on sentences and/or tangents that lead to blank space… which will be taken up by many awkward segues.)

The cast in order of how they are listed on the 3tacon website. You may click to go to their pages from here or ... well, from the 3tacon site. I am not going to make a link to each one every time I mention someone because, I am lazy.

Ok… everyone that was there (in alphabetical order*… with their link if they have one):
JenTrance & Bullshit
Lisa & Frank
Mary & Joe
Poppy & Tam
Rachel & Mark
Scotty Boom Boom
Susan & Ed
SuzannaDanna (me)
The Jason

*Dude. I so should have done them in order of appearance.

If I have missed anyone, please let me know. MissBelladonna was supposed to come as well as MoreSarah and her hubby… but alas, they could not be there. Woe.

Also, woe to JenTrance who got scurvy and or the Hantavirus and could not join us for the festivities for Friday and Saturday, but I did get to meet her (and Bullshit) for a very brief moment on Sunday morning.

So Wednesday night when I should have been packing, I was standing outside the building at American Airlines Center and cursing Eric Clapton and my poor husband up and down. There was a fire alarm and they were not letting anyone into or out of the building. There was a literal mob of people that I was standing amongst and it was all very dramatic. Little did I know that as soon as I walked into the suite an hour and a half later that the sweet sweet strains of Robert FUCKING Cray would be serenading my ears.

Robert Cray.

He was opening for Eric Clapton.

Let me say it again. Robert Cray. Do y’all know how much I love Robert Cray? Anyone? Take my love for Stevie Ray Vaughn and Bonnie Raitt and dial it back half a notch. That’s how much. So I walked in, did my trophy wife duties and then stood there in the suite watching Robert Cray and his little 4 man band woo the crowd.

Remember how I said that arena concerts are impersonal and the music is distorted? I totally was talking out of my ass. I knew not of which I spoke… especially at American Airlines Center. Everything was crisp and clear and beautiful and the music was so good that the girls stood at attention for over three hours.

So Thursday rolled around, I went and got my herrr did after work and ran some errands. By the time I got home it was after 7:30 in the p.m. and I still had to pack. Luckily I had been stressing out about the packing for several days and had a list. A list, in category order with little places to check off each item. I know, yes anal… but I bow before the packing queen Weetabix who blows us all away with her packing spreadsheets that are labeled by date and afternoon and evening wear… plus accessories. She is the queen.

So I packed and went to bed at a pretty reasonable hour but I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited. My alarm went off at 4:30 and I got up, showered (messing up the perfect blow out done by my stylist the night before) and headed out the door to the airport.

I got to my Parking Spot and the shuttle took me to the gate. I hopped off, drug my hoopty ass luggage (I took Mister’s luggage, it has a broken wheel but is twice as big as my suitcase) and went up to the sky cap. It was by this time, 6:15 am.

“I have some bad news for you,” the sky cap said. “Both of your flights have been canceled due to weather.” I replied, “The fuck?” No… I really didn’t but I totally wanted to. I grabbed my hoopty ass luggage and hauled it upstairs to the American Airlines counter. I was flying on award miles so was aware that they were probably not going to take any pity on me.

“So, what is your last name?” asked the AA counter guy. I gave it to him and he was all, “Ut oh.” I spared him the drama and said, “I know, they are all cancelled. When is the next flight and how soon can you get me into Green Bay?” “Well, they are all cancelled due to the blizzard. I can get you into Green Bay tomorrow evening at 10 pm.” My mind was going ape shit wanting to scream, “But it is the Weeticon you FUCKER! It only lasts until Sunday morning! I would miss the Bad Bar!” But what I said was, “How close can you get me to Green Bay?” He replied, “Milwaukee?” Like it was a question.

I needed someone to be firm about the matter at hand so I asked him what time that plane left. It left at 8:10 a.m. That would put me into Milwaukee at around 10:30 a.m. and I could rent a car and drive the two and a quarter hours to Green Bay. Right? Right.

“Book it.” I told him.

I had to get to another terminal to catch the Milwaukee flight, no biggie. I did it. Then I started calling all of the car rental places and asking for a one way-er from Milwaukee into Green Bay. I won’t tell you the costs that Hertz was quoting me but since it jumped almost $200 from the first time I called, to the second time… I am pretty sure they were going to have me bent over the hood of that rental without the courtesy of a reach around or any lube. So I said to myself, “Self,” I said, “You are Columbus today. You will reach your destination and things do not have to be über planned before you get there. Just trust and then get a car when you get into Milwaukee.” So, that is exactly what I did.

I got to Milwaukee (pretty pretty snow) and hauled the hoopty luggage to the rental car counters. I noticed that they were all empty of customers except Avis. They are one of the only rental places that I didn’t call so I went to try my luck. I asked the lady, Pat, if she had any cars in her inventory that needed to be returned to Green Bay. She said, “I think so, one moment.” And looked in her system.

She did, it was a fourth of the cost the Hertz was quoting me so I was all, “Book it.”

Again with the “Book it”? Who do I think I am? Lieutenant McGarrett from Hawaii 5-0?

Oh, and what the hell is the deal with me saying, “Rock on.” all the time? Am I in the 80’s? Do I belong to Judas Priest or AC/DC? It is almost like I am translating everything from, “Truly I agree my darling.” to “Let’s get the fuck out of here.” Into my two syllable catch all, “Rock on.”


Anyway. Pat did have a car, she booked it for me, I went to the security booth and got into my rental. A Pontiac G6, white. Woo. Whatever, I was NOT going to be fussy. Oh, and also I asked Pat, “How do I get to Green Bay?” She did not know. “Do you have a map of Wisconsin or even the Milwaukee area Pat?” I asked her. After all, hi… you are a car rental place. Please tell me you have a map. She did, a small one and I got the general gist of how to get to Green Bay.

I called Weet while I was on my way, because she was kind enough to offer to pick me up at the airport, and told her that I would be at the airport but probably around 1:30 or so as opposed to the previous time of noon that I had given her. She said that would be fine as everyone was delayed and that Jake and Eben would be getting there at 2:00 p.m. so we could all just ride together.

I drove out 119 to 94 North towards Milwaukee then got on 43 North to Green Bay. The drive was beautiful and gave me a chance to calm the fuck down as I was allllllll sorts of keyed up. I started counting silos and then stopped at 34. The snow was going sideways and it was windy but the roads weren’t that bad and I made pretty good time.

I got to Green Bay right around the time I planned and had just dropped off my keys at the Avis counter when Weet pulled up. She came inside and instantly I felt as though I had known her forever. She was so gracious and warm and her eyes are so blue that the first time she looked at me full on I was startled by how beautiful her eyes are. Find pictures y’all. Go look now. I’ll wait.


So, we waited around for the boys and MissBelladonna and MoreSarah both called Weet to cancel. We chatted and put my luggage in her car and when Jake and Eben got there it was like someone opened the gates because as we were waiting for Jake’s luggage Mary, Joe and LA all walked in. I hugged them all as I had known them forever. LA and I eyed each other a bit and then we all fell into easy laughter.

We all got to the hotel and checked in. The Jason was in the lobby handing out programs for the weekend, our name badges, getting room and cell phone information and handing out hugs to welcome everyone. It was so nice. My room was on the 2nd floor and I loved it. The tub was huge and the shower was completely open on one side, big enough to accommodate four or five people and a rain shower head to top it all off.

I changed to go downstairs for the meet and greet and that is where I met Melinda, Kevin, Mo, Fredlet, Amy, Mike, Lisa-Marie and Poppy. Mo handed me a WINGO paper, it is sort of like BINGO and was meant to be an ice breaker game. I had to get people to sign in the squares that said stuff like, “Refuses to do karaoke.” “Writes under a pseudonym.” “Has more than one website.” “Has never had cheese curds before.” “Has never been to Weeticon before.” “Just kissed me.” “Has married someone they met online.” “Has made out with someone from Weeticon.” So I walked around, introducing myself to people and asking them questions.

Kevin took me aside and told me a little bit about who was who and what place they should sign on the WINGO card. I was trying to push myself out of my comfort zone. I could have easily hid in a corner (behind a potted plant) and just had a drink, a smoke and then I could have just followed the group from place to place, but I was the new girl, the one who didn’t know anyone there and had never been before. Well, Mary’s husband Joe had never been before but he had Mary to guide him. (And the rest of us to pin the Booyah button on him. :) )

So I introduced myself to each person and talked to them about which site was theirs, if they had travel issues getting to Green Bay, which place on the WINGO card they could sign and had a great time. About an hour before we left the hotel/bar to go to dinner Weet’s husband Esteban came in. I had heard that he was particularly knowledgeable about liquor and that, “He is a fucker.” He would give people the nasty shots and laugh when they grimaced. So? I decided to make him my ally. (As most of you know I am a wimp when it comes to drinking… well, I am now.)

I asked the bartender for a gin and tonic and then asked him to give me a shot of his choice and to sign the square on the WINGO card that said “Will sign this after you do a shot of their choice”. (It didn’t say that I had to stay within the people at the minicon. I even had some random guy at the bar sign the box that said “Has never been to a Weeticon.”) (Also,… heh.) The bartender signed it, gave me my gin and tonic and then handed me a shot of whiskey. I tasted it, winced and … this is where Esteban comes in. He walked over, put his beer down, lit a smoke and said, “You’re drinking that all wrong.” He tried to school me in the arts of drinking whiskey. “Take a deep breath before, sip it, swallow it, then breathe out your mouth. If you inhale it will burn your sinuses.”

Ah… So that’s what I have been doing wrong for the past 34 years. Ok, 16 years… because I didn’t drink before I turned 18, no sirree Bob.

So I tasted it his way. Not too bad. Then he gave me something called a B&B… some brandy and whiskey/bourbon (seriously can’t remember for shit) thing and told me the same rules apply, no inhaling. I tasted it, it was sweet and not too bad at all, but I will still stick with my pussy drinks, thank you. Gin and tonic with a lime anyone?

Alright. This is long as hell. I am on page five and I still haven’t even touched on dinner and the Bad Bar Friday night. And there is still Saturday and Sunday to discuss as well.

Much love and more later. Pics are being posted everywhere as we speak. I didn’t bring my camera, but I have a link here that is being updated several times a day.

Weetacon Photo Pool. Clickety, Click, Click Bitches.

More tomorrow.


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And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

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