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Join Us for Dinner... a Look Back.

Issue Date: Friday, May. 27, 2005

Mister and I were dining at a fine establishment last Friday evening and as we gazed with wonder at our surroundings I caught the name of the artist at the bottom of the beautifully appointed teakwood frame to my immediate right.

As we sat there quietly discussing the paintings we made up a (mostly one sided, ok… entirely one sided) conversation that the artist would be having at that very moment.

Join me… won’t you?

Me: Shade…Adin Shade, world renowned impressionist… or something.

Mister: I am so sorry that I can not stay and join you. I have a showing this evening. Oh, yes, please do stop by. It is a lovely little place.. they will be serving complimentary chilled water with lemon wedges…

Me: … and a fine assortment of international confectionary sauces.

Mister: My paintings will be displayed at this sheik little eatery. They will be displayed on each wall and highlighted by the cheap canned lighting and the fake potted ivy…

Me: …prominently displayed between each set of streaked windows and set off by the red haze of the emergency exit sign.

Mister: My impressionistic desert landscapes in shades of …

Me: bruise and tapioca…

Mister: off-set the bad dye job of the ever-friendly waitress, Helda.

Me: But please… wait to be seated…

Mister: Tell the hostess that you know me and the complimentary chilled water with lemon wedges will be served posthaste…

Me: I’m a …Star! I’m featured all over the United States!


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.

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