Please bookmark the correct page at Princess of Irony

Because apparently, I am a twelve year old boy.

Issue Date: Tuesday, Aug. 17, 2004

About two weeks ago Mister and I were driving around after seeing Man On Fire. We snagged some ice cream at Braum’s or Swensen’s or something like that. That’s not the important part.

The important part is this…

Are you guys familiar with the “anal” game? It is neither as dirty nor torrid as it sounds. It is along the same lines as the fortune cookie, “… In Bed” thing. Get me?


Alright. Yanno how when you were in high school or college, (or hell, it may have been last week for some of you) and you ate Chinese food? Yes Suz, duh. Well, yanno when the time for eating the fortune cookies came, and everyone read their fortune aloud and added, “In Bed” to the end of it?

For example, “Smiles are like Sunshine, they light up the room… In Bed.” Ok, that one was retarded. How about, “Your fortune will soon grow… In Bed.” Heh. Yeah, like that bitches!

The anal game, as mature and fun filled as the “In Bed” game… goes like this. Anytime I see a Ford, Lincoln or Mercury product… I add the word “Anal” to the front of the name of the vehicle.

Well, since the night in question (see above) I have been playing the anal game in my head.

Anal Explorer

Anal Expedition

Anal Probe

Anal Excursion ………(hee!)

Anal Navigator

Anal Aviator

Anal Focus

Anal Escape… ad nauseum.

I can’t stop this behavior. It is almost compulsory. I will be at a stoplight, counting the Ford, Lincoln and Mercury products looking for one I haven’t attached the Anal moniker to yet. I have been doing this for weeks people. Weeks.

I drive an Anal Mystique. So full of mystery and shrouded in query.



Because apparently, I am a twelve year old boy. You disagree? Why? I have the whole potty humor thing down and, yes AND… I have the crush on Joan Jett.


Back Issues ::: Current Issue

Please switch to the site. - Friday, May. 23, 2008

- - Monday, Apr. 14, 2008

C'mon y'all - Friday, Feb. 22, 2008

C'Mon! - Wednesday, Feb. 13, 2008

- - Friday, Dec. 28, 2007

Follow this Link to the Cheese Club. Enter your photo in our Cheese Off Contest!

100 Things About Me

Sign the Guestbook

gmail me babies

Notified users get the dirt before EVERYONE ELSE!
Enter your email here:
Powered by

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.

To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.

My Amazon Wish List.

Weblog Commenting and Trackback by
[ Registered ]

Rate Me on Diarist.Net By Clicking Here


Who Links Here View blog reactions