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Happy Thanksgiving 2006

Issue Date: Monday, Nov. 20, 2006

Ok, first off…. I can not tell ya’ll about the robe of degradation. Not yet. I must wait until I can take a bit of time to tell you guys all about that. And now? Is just not the time. No, my poppets, now… now, is the time to panic. Now is the time to be a bit spazzy. Nay, even bajiggety.

I hate this conference. I do.

This is the time of the year when I have a three city, 38 speaker, 25 committee member, 1500 attendee monster to slay in the name of event planners everywhere. This? This is my Moby Dick.

Call me Ishmael.

No, really. I am having a serious problem over here. I thought, hey, bright idea! Let’s pull our attendees kicking and screaming into the twenty-first century. Right? Let’s forgo the tree killing fest that is all of the materials that we normally print for this conference. Let’s give the attendees a CD-Rom with all of the materials … ALL… Of… THE… MATERIALS. Bonus, right? Right. So I cat wrangle and get every presentation from all 38 speakers. (A feat in itself… and yes, I am taking a little bow.)

Now for the fun part.

I gave the master CD-Rom to the company that is going to reproduce 1600 of them for me.

They? The 1600 CD-Roms? Were supposed to be in my warehouse by 11/17/06. Oh, hello calendar. It is what? The 20th? Why that can’t be! Because if that were the case, then… oh, I don’t know… THEN MY MATERIALS WOULD BE LATE!

::deep breath::

I set up on Wednesday. For those of you who don’t know, the next day; Thursday; is Thanksgiving Day. A day to celebrate with stuffing pie in your face and sitting on the back porch with your pants undone and a tall gin and tonic (with three olives!) in your right hand and a cigarette in your left. Thursday is not a day to be all ass clenchy about some stupid conference.

Thursday is a day to cook. A day to bake. A day to zurbert your niece and to look at pictures and watch football.

If I don’t get set up on Wednesday. Then I will be shit out of luck come Monday
The 27th at say, oh, around 5 am when I get to the convention center and have to set up everything by myself in an hour and a half.

If my materials are even there.


But I love ya’ll. Love. Happy Thanksgiving Day…. And just for you? A picture of the puppy watching his “first cousin” play soccer.


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.

My Amazon Wish List.

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