Please bookmark the correct page at Princess of Irony

Open mouth, insert ugly white patent-leather shoe that I am sure I was wearing at the time.

Issue Date: Tuesday, Jun. 21, 2005

I was thinking about all of these different things while driving this morning… as opposed to actually paying attention to the road and the eleventy-four frillion cars, trucks, vans, SUVs and 18-wheelers all around me doing 60 miles an hour on the surface streets of north Dallas on a road that was clearly marked 40 mph. We’re over achievers.

I was thinking of how pretty that woman’s hair in the Lexus next to me looks. Someone should tell her that today. If we weren’t at a stoplight that was about to turn green and I wouldn’t look like a total maniac for honking my horn and doing that “hey roll down your window for a sec, will ya?” motion with my hand to tell her… I probably would tell her myself.

I was also thinking about how cute that young boy in the big red Chevy SUV next to me on Preston was. He smiled and I waved. I wondered if he was a good kid.

I saw a man pass in front of me on foot at Frankford. Not too many guys can carry off dreds like that buddy. Good for you.


We all think them all the time. Why don’t we say them more often?

Anne and I were IM’ing yesterday afternoon and she sent me a photo of her and one of her friends from her recent trip to Tunisia. Sunburned back and earache aside, ladies and gentlemen, without a dab of makeup on (she doesn’t hardly wear any… nor need a dollop of it for that matter) the picture – which I dearly hope she posts on her site – is absolutely stunning. The quality of light, her beautiful smile. Sun kissed skin. Anne is strikingly gorgeous.

I do try to give people compliments (heartfelt ones only) as often as I can. Sometimes to brighten a woman’s day just by complimenting her necklace or whatever goes a long way to brighten mine. It usually befuddles the men we are with…

Case in point: Walking through Willowbend Mall – Saks Fifth Avenue – With Mister.. March-ish.

A woman and her boyfriend/husband(?) and a random other guy came walking by, she had on these shoes (God… LOVE!) and I just casually said to her, “Great shoes, honey.” She looked down quickly, smiled, and said, “Thanks.” While all of the men around who noticed the exchange were scratching their heads and looking at each other and us as if I had just said, “Nice tits, honey.”

I would never say that to another woman. I would say, “Bangin rack, sweetheart.”

Anyway… I know that people can get tongue-tied while trying to deliver a compliment. I have, many a time.

I can remember being in church as a young girl and this couple came in the door. The woman was tall, and believe me ladies, if you are a tall one… please, do not slouch, stand up straight and proud, there is nothing like the sight of a tall woman who is proud of her attributes, including the height she was blessed with. (off soapbox… sorry) So, yeah, back on point. This tall woman had perfect creamy skin, jewel-green eyes and auburn hair. It was the late 1970’s or early 80’s and that feathered look was in. Her hair was perfectly feathered back from her forehead and held into place by all of the hairspray in Northern Georgia.

I was coming up the aisle to help my dad pass out the handout thingies, and she was coming down the aisle. I stopped right in front of her and said, “Ma’am?” “Yes?” “I really like your hair.” She said “Thank you.” And turned to her husband and said, “What a sweet little girl.” But NOOO… I couldn’t just stop there, I was spurned on by her compliment that I was indeed a sweet little girl, so I kept going. “It’s like you have your own visor, a hair visor.” Her left eyebrow shot up and she smiled that half smile thing, and I scampered away like a burned chimp.


Open mouth, insert ugly white patent-leather shoe that I am sure I was wearing at the time.

Could I have given anymore of (what my mother calls) a Sideways Compliment? No. And I should have been soundly beaten for being such an idiot and not knowing when to shut the fuck up already.

I was trying to be nice and ruined it.

I probably caused that lady undue turmoil about her and her hair visor.


Back Issues ::: Current Issue

Please switch to the site. - Friday, May. 23, 2008

- - Monday, Apr. 14, 2008

C'mon y'all - Friday, Feb. 22, 2008

C'Mon! - Wednesday, Feb. 13, 2008

- - Friday, Dec. 28, 2007

Follow this Link to the Cheese Club. Enter your photo in our Cheese Off Contest!

100 Things About Me

Sign the Guestbook

gmail me babies

Notified users get the dirt before EVERYONE ELSE!
Enter your email here:
Powered by

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.

To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.

My Amazon Wish List.

Weblog Commenting and Trackback by
[ Registered ]

Rate Me on Diarist.Net By Clicking Here


Who Links Here View blog reactions