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You do NOT need a bigger boat.

Issue Date: Wednesday, Apr. 19, 2006

Ya’ll. Seriously, I am so happy. Apart from the whole ‘packing and moving gives me diarrhea’ thing… I am so happy. And content. I slept like a baby last night. No, no… I didn’t wake up every three hours and cry for a boob to suckle. I just slept. Slept hard.

Apparently this whole interview/job offer thing was weighing heavily on my mind. Who knew?

Yesterday afternoon I got an email from the COO of the company that I was interviewing with. The email said, and I quote (seriously, I am pasting this directly from the email):

Dear Susan -

Thank you for coming in and meeting with members of the management team last Friday. Unfortunately, you were not selected for the position of Convention Manager. Although you have a great skill set, the consensus of the team was that it would not be a good fit for the office.

I wish you all the best in your job search,
[her name]

Remember how I was praying that God would make it abundantly clear what my decision should be regarding this job? Well ladies, and gents… it really can not get any clearer than that.

I didn’t realize that I would be relieved not to get that job offer… I am. I got the affirmation I was looking for by making it to the top two job candidates, and didn’t even have to make a decision. Talk about an answered prayer.

Also, I got the hoopty back. Almost $800 later, but she is back and feeling great. So, everything is rocking along smoothly. Thank you all for your good thoughts and prayers on all of this drama.

I didn’t tell you guys the details about the Easter weekend. Mister and I went over to my parents’ house on Friday afternoon and it was a wonderful and relaxing weekend. Mister sleeps at my parents’ house like he doesn’t sleep anywhere else. We both employed the use of earplugs Friday night and it took us a while to get to sleep… he in his double bed (complete with feet hanging off) and me on my blow up mattress on the floor. Once we did get to sleep it was nice and Mister slept until almost eleven am Saturday morning. That is a huge deal for him.

He is so relaxed at my parents’ house that he visibly goes from wound up to peaceful as soon as we get about a 1/3 of the way there.

While Mister was sleeping Saturday morning my sister said to me, “Hey, wanna come for a walk with me?” I stupidly said, “Sure.” So we laced up our shoes, put my niece in a stroller that looked like it was built for off-roading and took off.

My parents’ live on a lake (well, next to, they aren’t stilt people or anything) in East Texas, the surrounding neighborhood is hilly and full of trees. People love their lake lots and their close-to-lake lots and they take pride in keeping their lawns lovely and the trees pruned and the flowers blooming.

I. Have allergies.

I am allergic to pollen and grass… which is ironic because my father used to employ me to mow the grass and trim hedges and edge walkways and all things outdoorsy. Hi, ::sneeze:: how you doin? ::eyes watering and smearing mascara:: Aren’t I sexy?

It is April, and for some reason the weather has decided to reach an all time high. It was 99 degrees Fahrenheit (37.2 Celsius) yesterday and this unseasonably warm weather has caused everything to bloom early.

So, off we went, trudging up and down hills… but mostly up.

Fifty minutes and sixty-seven hills later, I was breathing like a walrus running a 10K. (hee. A walrus running.) My face was red, I was sweating buckets, sneezing every minute or two and my eyes were watering like I was being forced to listen to Sade. I’ll tell you what, talk about sexy... I could have been the cover of Maxim for May.

We have our family trip to Destin, FL coming up in June and my fat ass needs to shape up before I put on a bathing suit and parade around in public. I am not so much worried about being so white I am sort of blue. (Let’s hear it for the clear people! Can I get a ‘What What’!?) But I am worried about some haggard fisherman trying to harpoon me in the shallows. (Fuck you, you do NOT need a bigger boat, buddy!) So my sister and I have decided to hold one another accountable for our work out regimen. I have to call her and make sure she drinks her water for the day and she has to call me and make sure I have done some sort of aerobic exercise for the day.

Last night we sweated and packed up parts of the old house. I am going to count that as my aerobic exercise. She drank wine and I’m going to call that her water intake for the day.


Oh, yeah. I haven’t shown ya’ll the new furniture have I?

This? Is the new furniture. Preeeeettttty.

And for size reference. Here are the delivery guys with just the chair part. That huge thing? Is Mister’s chair. Dwarfing a perfectly normal sized (three hours late) delivery guy.


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.

My Amazon Wish List.

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