Princess of Irony

Fall is my favorite time of the year.

Issue Date: Tuesday, Nov. 01, 2005

Fall is my favorite time of the year. When the weather cools down my brow stops furrowing and my smile is quicker to appear. I am not worried about my hair frizzing from the scalp out because I am so (literally) hot headed. I don�t fret about wearing open sandals or heels with the toe out just to get a little relief from the heat. I can layer my clothes and not be anxious about spontaneously combusting and searing the eyebrows off of my office mates.

The colors of the leaves are so vibrant and the crunch of the discarded underfoot brings a new sense to a walk around the neighborhood.

And hoodies. I love hoodies.

When this time of year rolls around I start stocking up on Fall supplies*, the materials and ingredients that it takes to make beef stew, vegetable soup and spaghetti. Cool weather food.

I nest like a squirrel and make preparations for lazy Saturdays and cold, crisp Sundays.

Last week I called my mother for her �trash� recipe. (Trash is the southern version of Chex Mix.) She was so excited for the reminder because she and my father were going to be watching the Florida vs. Georgia game on Saturday and my inquiry gave her the idea to make trash for their football watching party.

I know that Chex has a recipe on their site, but I wanted to share with you my mother�s recipe, handed down from her Home Ec teacher in college. Or something. It is easier, and has far fewer ingredients.

Here is the recipe, straight from my mother�s email.

Trash

Preheat oven to 250 and combine:
6 T. butter or oleo
4 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
3/8 tsp. garlic powder
6 cups Chex Mix (corn, wheat and rice equally or any way you like it)
1 jar Dry Roasted peanuts

1. Pour melted butter into shallow baking pan. Stir in Worcestershire. Sauce and garlic powder
2. Add Chex Mix and nuts. Mix until all pieces are coated.
Heat in 250 oven 45 minutes. Stir every 15 minutes. Spread on absorbent paper to cool. Yields 8 cups trash.

FYI, I never put on an absorbent paper to cool. I just keep stirring the finished product with a rubber spatula in a large bowl so that it absorbs everything as it cools.

Yes, this is probably the quickest recipe for a coronary episode� 6 Tablespoons of butter? Lord, Lord. But it is so good. I made some on Saturday while Mister was cursing over his installation of a new drive on one of his computers.

I killed his computer last weekend. Or� it died randomly while I was updating Herschel (my iPod for those who didn�t know that I was crazy enough to name inanimate objects like my iPod, my purse, makeup bag, and many pairs of shoes). Herschel looked up at me and with a little tear in the corner of his viewing screen said, �What happened? I was looking forward to all of the new Tesla and George Michael stuff.� Yes, he was clearly disappointed.

And so was Mister when I told him� �Uh, everything just stopped.�

Helpful� no?

*Long but worth it footnote. When I was working for a company a few years ago in the Sales and Marketing department a lady who worked for me was in charge of ordering office supplies. One morning when she came in I had a list of the things we all needed and I went to give her the Office Depot book and the list and I knocked on her door and when she looked up, I yelled, �SUPPLIES!!!!!!!!� � like surprise� but w/o the R. Go ahead. Say it out loud, throw your hands up like you are jumping out from behind the couch at a surprise birthday party. Heh� that shit makes me giggle every time I think about it.

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