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All I found was some lame ass “note” in my Outlook called IDEAS.

Issue Date: Monday, Jul. 24, 2006

I’ve been away ya’ll. I have neglected to send you love notes to tell you how pretty your hair is, that you are seriously rocking those jeans and that I really like how your homemade guacamole is all cilantro-y. But I do. I really do.

Ya’ll know this is my busy season and I… no baby, don’t be like that. I don’t want to neglect you. I just haven’t had time to sit down and write you a little love note. But this morning? I did just that.

Roses are red.
I love Blunt Man and Chronic
I would also prefer olives,
In my monster Gin and Tonic.

No, I haven’t seen Clerks II yet. Have ya’ll? No, wait. Don’t tell me. I would rather see for myself if they actually get away with a donkey show on my own. Or rather, I would like to see… well, just all of it. Don’t tell me… really. Don’t tell me if it sucks ass and you would beat Kevin Smith with a 4x6 to get the $7.50 you paid on the movie ticket. I love me some Kevin Smith, don’t be hatin.

Also. I love Kevin James.

Coincidence? I think not.

So I was looking through some notes that are hidden away in my computer trying to find the little slices of heaven that I call journal entry ideas. I put them somewhere while I was busy for the past month or so and even when I was out of the office I would open my trusty blackberry and add them to a task list called “Write about this.” Clever, no?

Well, no apparently not because I can’t find the folder. All I found was some lame ass “note” in my Outlook called IDEAS. I will post the gems of literary genius for you now. No, no… don’t all rush in at once to steal these jewels of brilliance to write an entry of your own.

1) DJ and Evan opening a Smoothie King... Power added to the Starbucks
2) The Last Unicorn / The Last Dragon ... first boy movie, first kiss movie... The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover... fork in the cheek... use of color.
3) eyelashes used to fall out
5) you already know what you are going to do in your heart... the worst part is how to tell the rest of the world.
6) "And now, for theatrical purposes, we'll let the moron play with the gun!"

Uhm… yeah. I am not sure where number four went but it must have been about the dream I had where I was in a contest because I was marrying Christopher Titus. Or when I was convinced that my ex brother in law was dead.

I called Debra Jean, “Is he dead!?” “What the fuck are you talking about?” “Little G… Is. He. Dead?” “No you freak. Did you have one of your dreams?” “[sheepishly… yeah.”

But.. BUT!!!! A day or two later she called, “This is your ex sister in law….” “Um, why are you calling yourself that?” “He’s having another baby.” “Lord.”

So… death? I wasn’t on the mark. But I knew something was afoot at the Circle K, by God.

I’m not going out of town for a while so I will post more as I get caught up on my shit.

Much love and little baby peas.


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.

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