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My personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.

Issue Date: Wednesday, Mar. 09, 2005

1. Constantine the movie… yes, yes, I know… there is only so much wandering a script can do from a (line of) graphic novel(s) and this one wanders far and wide… but hello, Constantine the movie… I love you. I don’t care how badly you raped the story line of Hellblazer . I understand the notion of two hours = movie and eleventy four frillon graphic novellas do not a script make. Sequel please?
2. Mandarin Orange Chicken Salad from Wendy’s. Hi there, how you doin? I love that peanutty dressing stuff that you put in that package that is so hard to open that a graduate from MIT couldn’t open it without a miter saw and a incantation from a Wiccan high priestess, or the fact that my arteries harden at the sight of the roasted almonds and the fat content of the said yummy dressing on a FUCKING SALAD you whores! But, still… My love will go on.
3. My new haircut. I will from now on call it my hair-cute, because it is so effing cute. I have good hair. I wanted to flounce into the den this morning and proclaim to Mister that, “Miss Truvy, I promise that my personal tragedy will not interfere with my ability to do good hair.” I have bangs. I have cute bangs. And apparently bangs are in. What? Are they the new black or something? I didn’t get the memo… but then again, I haven’t gotten my hair cut since … Good Lord… Last AUGUST? I should be shot. I had long ratty hair that was all knotted and uuuugh. Why didn’t ya’ll tell me? Stacy and Clinton from TLC’s What Not to Wear would have crucified me in the 360 mirror. And I would have CRIED.
4. Member how I was telling you guys what a rocking husband I have? Well, here is more proof, not like you need any more or anything… but yet… here I am, always at the ready to atoll his awesomeness. I have had this little lamp since my Mommy changed my bedroom from little girl Raggedy Ann motif to a big girl cream with little pink and blue flowers motif (awwww) when I was still wee, but old enough to know that Raggedy Ann sucked. (Those big black eyes… so dead and empty… eeeeeesh.. gah.) Anyway, I have had this stupid lamp forrrrrreeeevvvvver. Remember that I am as old as Methuselah. Um, O-L-D. I keep it on my bedside table and whenever I am trying to read it flickers on and off and I curse it, “Stupid lamp, I hate you. Nobody loves you, yanno. Your lampshade looks all cracked out.” It would never stay on for more than like 4.36 minutes at a time and it would go off during the most inconvenient time. Like when I would be trying to find matching socks in the morning? Flicker out. Reading a book and come to the place where the killer is sloooowly climbing the stairs to attack his prey? Flicker out. And it would reFUSE to come back on. Fucker. So… my husband never wanting to part with anything that is a tie to my childhood (because that is a tie to me) took cracker-lamp™ to the lamp place and bought all the parts to rewire that sucker. He did all the work himself and fixed her up right. Then Monday we went and got a nice new lamp shade that is so modern and nice. She’s so pretty and she works! I love my new non-cracker-lamp™!

1. Budgeting. I am not a numbers goddess. I am creative and flowery and like music, movies, escapism, massages, laughing and puppies. Budgeting is none of those things, therefore, it sucks. It is that time of the year … which sounds like we are all in the midst of menses… why can’t I get paid for talking on the phone, taking people to lunch, wearing cute clothes and having cute hair? (see #3 above…)
2. Sleeeeeepy. Although, I am sure that my sleepiness is mostly due to boredom, which can be directly traced back to… you guessed it. Budgeting.

Convinced that:
1. That new Dr. Pepper commercial where they do that Manamana thing was the brainchild of my little journal here as I started linking to the song like a mad bastard back in August of last year, in this entry (first link), and also over at MATH+1. Never mind the fact that like 2 people read this.
2. I may be the only non-pregnant woman I know. Everyone on the internet is expecting and most of the people (women) I know in real life are expecting or just had babies. Except for my office mate… oh, and my mom.
3. I also may be certifiably insane or extremely well adapted at exaggerating.

Pardon me while I go eat this Mandarin Orange Chicken Salad from Wendy’s.


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.

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