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Administrative Nightmares Ensued

Issue Date: Tuesday, Dec. 20, 2005


Er, uh… Merry Christmas!

Ya’ll? I am so mad I could spit fire and save the matches. I am all het up about so many small things. And… AND I have already completed my Christmas shopping. So it isn’t the capitalistic nightmare that “‘tis the fucking season” for dropping a boat load of cash on stuff.

I just have to vent for a minute or twelve. Not long. I promise. Just read fast or something.

Ok, Mister… the king of a man that he is… has this job, see?


Side note: Just imagine that that noise right there… yes the “Uhhgrrrrah!” one sounds sort of like a cross between a wildebeest screaming as it is torn in twain from a Nile croc, the sound a wood chipper makes when it is grinding up a large boar hog and a southern girl trying her best to hold her shit together when she is thisclose to drop kicking a kitten.

PETA… lighten the hell up. I love cats. I’d really never hurt one. A wombat or a small child maybe. Kittens? Never.

Back to Mister. He has this job where he has increased productivity… pulled a project that was 6 months in the hole out and into the black… AND has been doing the jobs of 2.5 people because someone in HR just can’t seem to fill the position that needs to be filled. But he asked his boss (a boss that seems to bristle at Mister’s height and seems to think that since Mister is a retired Marine that he needs to be constantly put in his place… An example? I am glad you asked. How about two??? 1) Mister calls in with a migraine. He still worked from home. The next day bossman says, “You may want to weigh the reason that you call in… [pregnant pause with staring gaze] the next time.” 2) “Mister, you need to be happy and upbeat. If you can’t do that by Monday, don’t bother coming in or don’t come back at all.” Mister asks bossman the next day a SATURDAY while Mister is working, “Sir, do you remember when you said ‘you need to be happy and upbeat. If you can’t do that by Monday, don’t bother coming in or don’t come back at all.’? Do you remember which one it was?” Bossman replies, “Uh,…. No, I don’t remember.” Buddy, if you are going to go around threatening people… your WHOLE DAMN STAFF… (Mister isn’t the only one) and then wonder why turnover is so high, you seriously need a beating. Uhhgrrrrah!) if he could have a few days off over the Christmas season. He has three weeks a year to take.

He’s taken like oh, 6 days, since April and one was to go to a funeral!

Bossman says; in a matter of speaking; “No slaveboy.” And then announces that he himself is taking off like three weeks.

I am about to go carnival psycho crazy on his young punk ass.

Oh, ya’ll KNOW.

No one… NO ONE should every treat people like fucking chattel. There is so much more…. SO Much more ya’ll about that little evil gnome. But most of it would come out very poorly in print… and I would be screaming “Uhhgrrrrah!” a lot.

Number two. It is no secret that I do conferences. I just got done with one that about wore me the hell out. Within this conference there is a session that is usually very well attended by those who need this particular… let’s call it a class.

This class is offered online. It is offered eleventy billion times throughout the year for those who need it. And this year we decided not to have this particular class included in the circus conference that I just completed. The guy who cornered the market on this particular class, yes he has the exclusivity with our… company… he is a very shrewd little man. I do not begrudge him the fact that he cornered the market, or the fact that he makes about 16K for 12 hours of work… however comma… what I do begrudge is that he called someone in our company and threw an absolute piss fit that we would not be including his class in this circus conference.

He badgered that person and the decision was overturned. Or as that person likes to say, “Susan and I had a misunderstanding. Of course we’ll include your class in the circus conference.”

Clusterfuck of all administrative nightmares ensued.

I am still working out the details on the last city the conference was held in. Normally it takes me about four or five days to do this reconciliation. This year? Nine days. NINE.

And. Oh, yes… AND… I just got word that he sent little thank you’s (in the form of a $100 gift checks) to the woman he badgered, her other manager and her administrative assistant. Did my supervisor get anything? Did my coworker get anything? Did I even get a little note that said, “Thanks… or whatever.”???? I submit that Hell to the Fucking No… We did not get a got-damn thing. And WE were the ones who did all the work.

Oh. Ya’ll. It is just the principle of the thing.

So. [flaring of nostrils] Mad.

There’s more? Oh hells yes there’s more.

Barnie’s coffee. Mister loves. I hate. They shipped out my order (surprise for Mister for Christmas morning) twice. Both times, no tracking number. Lord.

The hot water faucet in Mister’s bathroom doesn’t work.
Shingles are falling off our house in droves.
The garage door opener doesn’t work when it’s cold.
My Seafood Newberg didn’t turn out correctly last night.
Cat hair… EVERYWHERE on the kitchen floor. ::shudder::
I haven’t gotten my 66+ Christmas cards in the mail yet.
Herschel won’t keep his formatting.
My mother is frustrated with the progress of her poor little knee and is crying (heart = broken when mommy cries).
My sister’s family has a carrier monkey (5 year old nephew in kindergarten) in their midst… everyone is sick.

And… My poor husband.

I’ll cheer up or I won’t come in or back at all on Monday. I keeed, I keeed.


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

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