Princess of Irony

Sue Asks the Mirror: �How old are you Susan?�

Issue Date: Monday, Oct. 17, 2005

Do you guys remember when I broke my mirror a few months ago? That resulted in totalitarian eyebrowisms? Well, I did it. I finally went hog wild and spent the 6 dollars to replace the mirror that I use every morning to put on my face, do my hair and check my overall appearance. Well, from as much as I can tell from a broke-ass piece of mirror.

Ya�ll? Come closer.

Here, sit down. Let me tell you a little secret. No no no� shhhhh hush baby, it�s going to be okay. We are all going to get through this hard time together.

When you have been kidding yourself that you look A-okee Dokee from a broke ass piece of mirror? One that has lasted since basically Nixon was in office? Hairspray spots, water spots, dust� the thing, what was left of it was filthy. I could barely see myself.

And I was putting make up on � little tiny sticks thisclosetomyeye.

Not so much with the smart, aye?

So yeah, after you see yourself and what kind of job you do in a nice clean pretty sparkly mirror, one with the three circles of ~~death~~ magnification on the back to go along with the one big mirror on the front? Um�

Sue Asks the Mirror: �How old are you Susan?�
Parts answer�

Face: �Twenty Seven� um� Twenty Eight? Nine?�

Hair: �Fifty Five. Nice gray streak there Alice.�

Hands: �Thirty Three. HA!�

Ass: �Fat. Fuck ya�ll, give me the Dove Bar and back away slowly and no one gets hurt.�

Gah.

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