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Look! It's Me!

Issue Date: Thursday, Dec. 15, 2005

We will be showing this picture for a limited time. Mister is not so much onboard with the whole narcissistic need in me to show you guys what I am wearing everyday. (I found the cutest earrings!... Look… millions of pictures ensue.) He says that it is for safety reasons… crazies on the innernets or something along those lines.

Me: “What? [big doe eyed blink of disbelief] You mean that there are people on the world wide web aren’t the bastions of mental health that they portray themselves to be? Nooooo. I don’t believe it.”

And then he points out that I dated several men I met online … and I quickly shut the fuck up.

Point made my love.

At the request of Anne… I give to you um.. this picture of me.

Picture removed... just cuz.

I would like to point out a few things.

1) Trying to "train" (and grow out) my mutinous bangs. It’s. Not. Working.

2) Hair cut short to show my bangs what could happen to them unless they cooperate.

3) Lovely pallor of … um… death? Er, I mean porcelain skin, soft as the morning dew.

4) The enormahuge bags (luggage?) under my eyes are handy for travel. They count as two carryon pieces according to the lovely people at Southwest Airlines.

5) And last but not least a lovely bruise that no concealer shall veil under the deceit of cosmetics! (Yes, yes… I tried. But it shines through like a beacon. Or, uh, bacon. Whatever.) I felt the need to point the bruise out to you so that you would be able to find it… after all, it is so unnoticeable. You see what I did there? That sarcasm? It’s a new thing for me.



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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

The Graphic Below Courtesy of Papernapkin.

My Amazon Wish List.

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