Princess of Irony

I am always amazed at my luck for being born into this family.

Issue Date: Thursday, Jul. 22, 2004

This past weekend I had the pleasure of providing food and shelter for my parents.

They have stayed with me before in my apartment as a single woman, both of them refusing to sleep in my king size bed. Instead they insisted on the following� sleeping on either leg of my ugly ass green (lost in the 70�s sofa pit group) couch.

When they stayed with Mister and me after we got married, they refused our bed to rest their weary heads and instead allowed me to make them a super duper floofy pallet on the floor in the living room, consisting of several blankets, four pillows, a sleeping bag, our oriental rug on the bottom and a king sized down comforter on top.

The cat has slept with them every time*.

And every time they say in the sweetest voices, �We slept great!� and when I raise my nonexistent eyebrows at them, they add �No, really!�

My parents will have their 63rd and 64th birthdays next month. They are sprightly for their ages and are in better shape that Mister and I are collectively.

Regardless�

I have felt like a heel every time they refused my bed in lieu of less comfortable places to rest.

This weekend, however, I was able to provide them with not only their own room (with a door! Holy Crap!), but their own king size bed, some pillows, a bed skirt (No!, You don�t say!) and even a freakin pillow sham.

On Sunday morning I was able to offer them breakfast while sitting at an honest to God kitchen table. Coffee from the incredible Mister�s Super Duper Deluxe Supreme Coffee Maker 2000 Plus with Wings with real mugs, real creamer, their preferred sweeteners, and all that crap!

I seriously feel like a real grown up. Being in this house has done something to me. I mean, don�t get me wrong, I still want to whine and eat chocolate frosting straight out of the container that it comes in, and if I have to have eye drops put in my eyes, Mister has to wrestle me to the ground like an over eager badger� but we�re in a house. A House.

We have dudes to take care of our yard for goodness sakes!

I do the dishes because the kitchen looks pretty with an empty sink and my stainless steel colander just hanging out, waiting for the lone leaf of romaine lettuce to be washed and cut up for a yummy salad.

Hi, I�ve never been a huge slob or anything, but a few glasses could stay in my sink and I wouldn�t go mental about them. Now? Counters cleaned off and smooth surface of stove 409�d please.

If I start making pastries using the cold-water method and placing doilies under my bunt cakes, I will definitely know� ~~my days of riding horseback topless are over~~ that I am on the path to becoming a grownup.

I was just so happy to be able to offer my parents a clean, comfortable, nice, neat, super snuggly place to sleep for the night. They have done so much for me over the past 32 years that I don�t think I will ever be able to even scratch the surface to repay them.

They have clothed and fed me, they raised me with love, compassion, grace and faith. They instilled in me a confident nature and the ability to smile with my whole face. They endured and even encouraged my fanciful, creative and sometimes just downright weird personality. They engaged my mind in responsibility and taking blame, compliments and an interest in my actions. They worked with me on my challenges and cheered me throughout my victories. They taught me that family is so very important and even if you are crazy, your family will love you, they just may put you on the front porch in a rocker in your older days to perpetuate a southern myth. They showed me that they did (and do) just want what is best for me. They kept their mouths closed and their hearts open when I made a decision at a very young age to marry the (obviously) wrong man. They welcomed me back into the family as a divorced woman and even applauded my strength in leaving. They have helped me out financially, spiritually, mentally and physically more than I am worthy of. They have prayed for me daily. They have also shown complete glee at me finding (finally) the right man. They have been role models, jailers, punishers, cheerleaders, teachers, conspirators, bankers, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, restaurateurs, entrepreneurs, healers, nurses, caretakers, and most of all, at this stage in my life, they have been my friends.

I enjoy the time I get to share with them and I am always amazed at my luck for being born into this family. Sure, we have had our bumps, but all in all, I believe that I am a very well adjusted young woman. I just hope and pray that Mister and I are able to offer our children the same.

*It was so cute. Max, who loves my father (and the sentiment is returned, no matter what that coot says) slept with my parents Saturday night. They left the door to their room open so Max could come and go as he pleased. At 3 am my mother woke up. She decided that she needed to tinkle and at my father�s request, she woke him up. There is a banister outside our guest bedroom door that overlooks the stairs. Daddy didn�t want my mother walking around at night in a strange house without him and falling to her death on the stairs or anything.

She woke him up and said she needed to go to the restroom. So my mom got up, my father got up and they went to the restroom� with Max following right behind them.

I just think that it is precious to think about my folks and the cat, all three of them at 3 am in our guest bathroom.

Cute huh?

On a side note, two of my favorite journalers have taken a leave of absence.

Dusty Scott at Pork Tornado has left the great unwashed masses to pursue his dreams and fatten his wallet at the teat of the Atlanta Illustrated web site. I applaud him and his ability to rake in almost a million hits a week to his now defunct (well sorta) website. A Million? What the fu�? Crap, that�s a lot of people reading your stuff. And he even had the good graces to leave comments in my guest book and respond to my emails a few times.

What? Not like I was stalking him or anything.

Shut up, and turn away from my shrine to Lewis Grizzard**. You are not worthy.

And Miss Writes Incredibly and I Want to Be Her When I Grow Up at Sundry. Not to sure what is going on there. Not like it is any of my or anyone else�s business. I just wanted to let her know that she will be missed and all that schmoopy stuff. Get well hon, whatever it is. And if I can help, drop me a line.

**If you got this reference, I love you forever with sprinkles and stuff.

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