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Idiosyncrasies

Issue Date: Friday, Sept. 09, 2005

id�i�o�syn�cra�sy
1. A structural or behavioral characteristic peculiar to an individual or group.
2. A physiological or temperamental peculiarity.
3. An unusual individual reaction to food or a drug.

List five of your own idiosyncrasies and then tag five friends to do the same.

A Friday five in the theme of a meme. I�m a rhyming fool ya�ll.

I got tagged by the one and only Cowgirl Jules for this little meme of idiosyncratic behavior.

I�ll list out the ones I think I have and feel free to opine and comment on the ones you think I have missed. Heh.

1) Business: I have an issue with business. Not really business business per say. Just� um, business. Ok, I�m coming off like a big honkin ball of woo-hoo, lookit the crazy! But ya�ll know how sometimes there are little fluff balls or fuzzies or if your shed (hair) in your bed? Yes, yes� regardless of how often you wash the damn sheets (and regardless of the thread count thankyouverymuch). I haveto-haveto-haveto go through this little process of making sure, absolutely sure that my side of the bed is clear of business. Mister�s side? He could care less if he slept in a bedding of kimchi as long as it was long enough, soft enough and he had covers. Well, that�s not necessarily true, but he doesn�t mind if the covers are rumpled and if his pillow isn�t fluffed!!! The madness. Mister once joked that he was going to install a tiny little dust buster for me beside the bed. Joked. How mean to joke about such an AWESOME idea!

Oh hell. I am a big ball of crazy. I just realized that I could do my whole meme on getting ready for bed. So? I will.

2) Lippy: Another side benefit to having a business free environment (where is that damn Dust Buster when you need it for fucks sake?) when you bed down for the evening is that any lingering or roaming business in the area will not attach itself firmly and quite ick-ily to your lips after you apply one of eleventy-seven lip-softening and protecting products that you just happen to have on hand. These products may include: Burt�s Bees; Carmex; SoftLips; some hemp product from The Body Shop that I can�t remember the name of; Rosebud Salve; Operation Smile Lip Balm SPF 15 (from Sephora) or one of the many Vitamin E sticks I have stashed around the house. I normally put on the Lippy (technical term of course) after a bit of hand lotion� and the hand lotion can only be applied after I make sure that the business is out of the bed!

But before that?

3) White Noise or �My Love for A Baby Box Fan�: After I finally wander into the bedroom; and it has normally been at least 20-40 minutes since I last said, �Ok, I�m coming to bed.� and my husband has completely chewed a hole in his face because I get distracted by shiny things like the TV or a gum wrapper (I have the mentality of a crow or a small child); I must get things ready. And you thought this just meant the extraction of business and lip balm? Oh no no noooooo. It goes much further. Before the extraction of business and the lip balm can even begin? I must get the room noise ready. I swear. It is like I am getting ready for a NASA lift off in there. I have to have everything perfect. Mister has an alarm clock on his side of the room that has a radio. And one day after we got married (ok, before� but don�t tell my parents I�m a dirty whore, shhh) I found that the clock/radio thingy had magical powers. Powers to emit sounds like �chirping birds� and �babbling brook� and �freakin rain storm� and shit, but these were not the Excalibur that I sought� I sought� white noise and found it under �wind�. Ooooohh. Wind! I already had white noise in the form of a baby box fan that I purchased at Target (looove Target. Lurve.) back in 1999 when I moved back to Dallas to combat the noise of the city. I still have this tee-tiny fan. So tee-tiny box fan + �wind� = True Love Forever! Oh, and because I am going through menopause at THIRTY I have hot flashes and wake up drenched in sweat so we sleep with the ceiling fan on too. One room, two fans, one noise maker, two people, a cat and a partridge in a pear treeeeeee!!!!

4) Pillows: Oh, ya�ll don�t even know. We have a California King bed (that Mister�s feet hang off of) and I sleep in a pretty small area of it because the rest of my area is taken up by my pillow habit. I am a pillow junky. I have pared it down since I am no longer the Queen of My Domain! (Say that like She-Ra ya�ll.) But I still have to have comfort. I am a side sleeper. I grew up on a twin bed. Twin. Bed. So when I turn over do I roll? Nay, I wake up and turn the eff over. (Rearranging my pillows as I go.) It all started when I was wee. I used to sleep on my back with this large bunny (my sister named him BuFu (like BooFoo� short for butt f&^$� momma, not knowing what that meant, thought it was cute and kept the name�) and I would sleep with BuFu under my left arm. Then I turned over and slept with BuFu in between my arms, and smooshed my covers in between my bony little knees. When I stopped sleeping with BuFu, I still wanted the comfort, so a pillow was inserted� and my knees didn�t remain bony throughout my twenties so a pillow was inserted. And of course one beneath my head to cradle my noggin. So I am a three pillow sleeper. Mister calls it the Great Wall of Sue. Three King Pillows. I get the fans and noise makers arranged, take care of the business, do the pillows� then lippy and hand lotion.

And last but not least�

5) Alarm Clock: This is my OCD thing. I don�t count the number of times I turn the alarm clock on and off to make sure it is even or odd� and I don�t have to mouth any certain words or do an incantation to make sure it goes off on time but MAN, the alarm clock is a great source of anxiety for me. The last thing I do before I go to sleep, or before I lay down and curse the fact that I can�t sleep� one of the two� is to set the alarm clock. I have one of those large clock radio jobs that has HUGE green digital numbers on the front and two settings for alarms. This is where I get in trouble. I already abuse the snooze. And when I stay at a hotel, which is pretty damn often, I ask for two wake up calls AND I set my phone to go off. You can�t abuse a wake up call. Unless it is a personal wake up call and you answer with obscenities and an offer to massage the person�s grandmother or something. I digress. But I set both alarms and Mister hears this from his side of the bed, �click� click?... clickclickclick� click� click?... clickclickclickclickclickityCLICK. Click.�

So, yeah. There�s that then.

I think I am going to tag the following people to do this meme�
Anne
monkey 0
jenn see
Jay
And
Alan (after he gets back from scaling the side of the world of course.)

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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby�s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, �my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.�

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