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Don't Stop Sexi-Mexi!

Issue Date: Friday, Mar. 28, 2003

I am alone and a young Asian man walks into the office carrying a large duffle bag with boxes of things you would sell for a fundraiser.

Him: Good morning, long time no see, how are you doing today?
[It comes out more like “Goodmorning,longtimenosee,howareyoudoingtoday?”]
Me: Pardon?
Him: Good morning, long time no see, how are you doing today?
Me: I’m sorry sir; I don’t believe we’ve met before.
Him: Well, it’s good to see you again.
Me: Pardon?
[I notice the bag and politely offer that we do not allow solicitors.]
Him: It’s a beautiful day; I just wanted to offer you…
Me: We don’t allow solicitation sir.
Him: … a look at our test market products.
[He pulls out a screwdriver with a light on it.]
Me: We don’t allow solicitation sir.
Him: But this is a test market.
Me: We… don’t… allow… solicitation… sir.
Him: [he begins to get whiny] But this is a tessssssssst market.
Me: You are proposing to sell me something or solicit sales correct?
Him: [blank stare]
Me: That would be solicitation, but thank you for stopping in. Good-bye.

Poor kid. Probably his first job out of school. I hated to shut him down, but come ON.

Ah, this is nice. This morning I was working away at a mailing and hand-boss came out of his cave and offered this piece of shit compliment.

“I don’t want you to get a big head or anything but Jackie and Nancy (board members) were both very pleased with you during the site visit. They said you had all the answers to their questions and everything. Well, at least that is what they told Brian (President) and he told me. Well, Nancy did tell me in person.”

I swear, that man could fuck up toast.

I have mentioned before that I have to drive a frillon miles to work every morning. There are a few things that I look forward to on that drive. I have already mentioned the big, black stallion that I pass. Another thing that makes me happy is the construction that they are doing on Main Street in Lewisville. They have torn up a large portion of the road but they are completing sections on almost a bi-weekly basis. I cannot wait to be able to drive on the virgin concrete. Yeah, a little odd, I know. But I have to find joy in something. It’s better to look forward to it’s completion like waiting for beer bread to bake, than bitching about how hellaciously long it takes to get to the next light when Sexy Mexi (any number of migrant workers who stand in the street with the Slow/Stop sign) forgets that he’s holding up the “Stop” sign.

Tonight is beer night with friends. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. Mister and I had a buddy (Tim) over a few weeks ago when he was having trouble with his ladyfriend. Since then, I have wanted to invite others. Tonight will be Tim, Steve, Stacey, Mister and me. Yay! We may even go down into “The Basement” to play You Don’t Know Jack.

There’s nothing I like better than being told how retarded I am by a smart mouthed computer trivia game.

The Basement is actually Mister’s garage. His manly SUV is too large to fit in the garage so he uses it for storage. One night during a particularly cold snap, Mister and I took 2 magnums of champagne (left over from New Year’s Eve), a cigar for him, smokes for me, a space heater, a radio and his laptop down into his garage. The Basement was Born! We had the best time!

I need to replace my pillows.

I sleep with a plethora of pillows in my bed. Just for me, 2 king size pillows and a full-length body pillow. I am one of those people that don’t like for their knees to touch. Ok, ok ok… enough with the slutty comments. I meant when I am sleeping you maroon. And since I gained weight a few years ago and miraculously grew boobs, I don’t like for them to touch either. *shudder* Yuk.

It has been years since I had nice fluffy new pillows on my bed. Mister was sweet enough to buy me a body pillow for his house. It is the softest thing. The cover is made out of moleskin or something. We got it at The Great Indoors. Word to the wise… If you are a candle fanatic, do NOT go into this store. You could be lost for days and come out in debt or at least with a traumatized sense of smell.

What I wouldn’t give to be anywhere but here.

Have a great weekend everyone!


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

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