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Can you hear the lambs sheep screaming Clarice?........fffffpffpffffff”

Issue Date: Wednesday, Jan. 03, 2007

I totally remembered what I was going to write about when I went back and read that entry on poor Bessy. Ok, now I am not suggesting that you do this… but back on like 12/29/06 I was here at work. Working. And I decided that I would pop over to take a gander at the genius that is Go Fug Yourself. Now, that, in itself, is no great stretch as I normally mosey on over to their site at least once a [work*] day. By the way: Could I use anymore commas? *And, I don’t normally get onto the computer over the weekend because… well, this explanation can wait until later. MORE, COMMAS….,,,,.

So I went over there to read and look at the train wreck that is the celebrity life. And I am no one to judge because seriously, have you seen my pores lately? Or those shoes I wore the other day? Or that red sweater? Regardless. I love me some Fuggin. And I noticed the sidebar with Pink looking like she was in mid-sentence. Hmmm…. So, I said to myself, “Self,” I said, “Stop using so many fucking commas, and… ellipses… and why don’t you check out that ad for PETA. It looks like Pink is talking to you… About, sheep? Who is hurting the sheep?!”

So I clicked on it.

And I watched the clip.

And I almost barfed.

And then I sent a terrified message to Mister via blackberry saying something akin to, “OH MY GOD! THE SHEEP! I WILL NEVER WEAR WOOL AGAIN! HOLY SHIT! I THINK THE SWEATER I HAVE ON RIGHT NOW HAS WOOL… I AM A SHEEP KILLER!” And yes, it was that dramatic and that caps-lock-tastic and… well, let’s just say that little Miss Drama Queen over here was dusting herself off a place to have a fit.

If you are at all sensitive. Even sensitive to the over use of the word ass. (Talking to you Stacey… that ad? May say, “Sheep smell like ass or may have their asses in some way mauled by gardening sheers…. And MAGGOTS.”) So please, do not watch it.

And that sweater I had on? I got home and was all, “La ti da… la la la… I will forget about the sheep. I will concentrate on cheese. And maybe a pudding cup. And oh, hello husband, would you mind terribly checking the label content of my sweater and telling me if there is Merino WOOL IN IT FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!??!?!” He looked? And said, “Hmm, I don’t know.”


“Can you hear the lambs sheep screaming Clarice?........fffffpffpffffff”


But guess who didn’t look at the tag when she threw the sweater in the washer?


Okay, and the reason I don’t get on the computer much at the house over the weekends or even in the evenings is this… Mister’s office looks like he is sitting in a computer display at CompUSA. There are (I counted last night) 5 towers, a server, one monitor and enough cables and cords and routers and usb ports and a monster TV in there to supply a networking job for a small company. That doesn’t include the two or three personal laptops and the work laptop that are scattered hither and yon about the house.

Seriously. Ya’ll? I live in Fry’s.

Not to mention that for Christmas? Mister wanted one of these puppy’s right here. For those of you not following links it is a D-Link MediaLounge 802.11g Wireless High-Definition Media Player… or something like that. So I got it for him. And I? Seriously have no idea what it is. All I know is that he can access all of his illegally ripped DVD’s and my photos and our music all from the TV in the living room. Which is cool…

Well, until…

Dum dum DUUUUUMM!!

I started downloading some songs from cd’s and from Limewire on Sunday. I also wanted to put the mix cd that Weet burned for us for the Holiday Card Exchange on Herschel (my iPod).

Mister was downloading some movie and I was uploading about 250 songs, then I decided to update my iTunes to 7.0.


self: Hi.
computer monitor: I am a blue screen of death.
self: shit.
Mister: [runs into his office at high speed… skidding a little on the pergo floors** in his socks]…::blink:: What. Did. You. Do?

**Don’t judge me.

Clearly, iTunes 7.0 does not play well with others. And it makes the D-Link cry and go tell it’s mommy that iTunes gave it a wedgie.

iTunes 7.0 is bad. BAD.

Mister worked on my mistake for about 4 hours on Monday and he fixed it last night. He is the king and I now must make him a bundt cake with Kahlua, rub his feet, peel grapes and feed them to him via my boobs and make him chicken fried steak… everyday. He restored 2053 songs that I had downloaded and backed up… but all of the cds that I ripped? Gone.

I weep for the sheer work I have put into making Herschel all he could be and more for the past few years… I have made playlists and fixed the audio books just so. Gone. I listen to him everyday that I am at work and that I am traveling. I listen to him on road trips by plugging him into the Tahoe and into Samantha. I went into the DT’s yesterday being here at the office without him.

We backed him up… but with 7.0. That is not compatible… well to anything really. Mister found an older version of iTunes and put everything right again. Made it all shiny and new. But still. This is the reason I don’t normally touch Mister’s toys. I did the same thing last January. Gah.

Herschel is a basic black and white 20 gig model. He is nothing fancy but I love him and don’t want to replace him anytime soon. That may be the reason I have stayed with Diaryland for so long. Ya’ll? I started this site on 2/20/03. Hi, long time.

I want to make the move to WordPress or to Blogger or good Lord, to have…. ::Swoon::. I would love to have the means and the wherewithal (and the knowledge…. Gah) to have my own site. But the daunting task of moving my archives. Lord, I may be a little faint just thinking of it.

And then? Then, I think of all of the people that have been with Diaryland since Moses was in a cradle. I really appreciate that Weetabix started in May of 2000, Miss Smartypants over there started in September of 1999. And both have remained true to their writing style, their formats and the look of their sites.

I have actually changed the look of my site three times. Am I just fickle?

I know Jules (hi.) has made the move to WordPress and she said that it almost drove her completely insane.

But look at WordPress… So pretty, so user friendly. So… well, “searchy” is the term that I keep thinking about. Seriously. I was watching VH1’s “I Love the 80’s, 3D” and Lynn-Holly Johnson from Ice Castles (Shut up, I know.) was talking about how she has this cute little graphics design company that does websites and all of this other stuff and I basically stopped listening after she said “designs websites” because I was imagining her putting something together for me that incorporated both a brick wall and a sepia toned picture of a winterscape tree with no leaves.


Don’t know. Move along Sparky.

So, yeah. It’s been a little bee in my bonnet for quite a long time. Just buzzing around for about a year. And I get so hung up on it and then I think. “But, my site is branded.” “Branded? This is not Kleenex.” And then I get all pouty. What would you guys do? And does anyone know how to move stuff from Diaryland over to another place and/or hosting thingy?


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To understand this dear reward (above) at all, you must hie thee on and read gatsby’s grape ape entry and my comments.

And because of said comments he sent me my very own dream turtle in an email titled wee gift with these words attached, “my purple monkey is booked solid so i ordered you a tangerine turtle. hope he proves helpful.”

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